Not funny: I didn't make any friends here.
I kind of tried. I even allowed myself to take an interest in a couple of people. It didn't work out. When you have people like Suzy, Tiago, Luís and Davy in your life (in no way displayed here by order of preference or anything of the sort!) everyone else seems to be a cheap alternative.

It's not that I'm lonely: I have no one to take my picture.
I have pictures of myself (taken with tripod), pictures of Istanbul, but little pictures of myself in Istanbul.

Yes, this is the most vain thing I have ever written on this journal, but I'm being honest.

I must add: except for Deniz. I didn't make any friends except for Deniz. But I'm not going to walk around Istanbul with a guy who was born in Istanbul. When he comes over we stay at home (home away from home).

There are no words to describe how much I miss my friends and family. It's not that I can't bear to be away from them. I do miss them and some days are worse than others, but it's generally okay, it's not like I've been at war for six months. It's that I'm used to having decent conversations every day, and here it just doesn't happen. I simply don't feel it with anyone. Again, except with Deniz. There're millions of people in this city, there're hundreds of people at my school, there're twenty-four well-traveled young adults sharing this house with me, and the only person I feel makes my words worth speaking is six years younger than me and shows up randomly every other weekend.

Erasmus is weird.

Why am I not sleeping?

Today I forced myself out of the house because it was such a beautiful sunny day.
Big mistake.
The streets are packed because of the holiday, so crowded it took me 20 minutes just to get out of my street. Not a very good crowd either, the trashiest most uneducated mass of Istanbul.
Where are the women of this city? Today I perpetually felt like I had just walked naked into a men's locker room. I was getting fed up with all the staring and pushing and harassing (I even yelled at a guy in Portuguese) when my day was saved by Kaptan Tunay.

Next to the Galata bridge there are always men trying to convince tourists to go on Bosphorus boat tours. I usually ignore them, as I ignore everyone in Istanbul, but today I didn't. A man approached me with a tour pamphlet, I asked how much, he said 20 TL, I said no way, he lowered to 10 TL and off I went. He introduced me to the captain, Kaptan Tunay, a joyful old man of a skin tanned by many suns who has literally been everywhere. He used to work on a Swedish ship, he has been to Lisbon a few times and we chatted while waiting for the shuttle that would take us to the boat. He recommended me a couple of books, claiming they are extremely important "to learn about life, love, hate, everything! Promise you'll read them!". I have the titles and the author (French) scribbled down on a napkin he took from a fish sandwich stand.
He insisted that I rode in the front seat of the shuttle, because "you are queen!". I loved him so much at that moment, for not being the usual creepy old man, for the books, for the glimmer of joy in his eyes that not even people my age have.

The tour was the perfect way to get away from the craziness that is Istanbul on a holiday.
But I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.



( The sun sets in Istanbul )

I'm getting very used to being alone all the time.

My life has never been this interesting and I have no time to blog about it. On top of all the Istanbul pictures I have to share, there's the Poland pictures now, 3 GB of them! I seriously need to take a weekend off to work on bringing the journal up to date.
For now, because it's been a while, I bring you the daily outfit:

My hair is currently at that annoying stage between short and long, I don't know what to do with it when I'm not wearing wigs or hairpieces. Any suggestions?
I absolutely hate that it's so naturally straight. For now pigtails seem to be the fastest solution.
The white top is not a top, actually, it's a slip dress (bought at the wonderful vintage store I've already written about). I've bought a bunch of sIip dresses, they're so comfortable as underwear.

For some reason today I was very sensitive to the staring. I wasn't imagining things, seriously, I even noticed a guy calling his girlfriend back to the tea shop, urging her to look at me. Sometimes I wish I couldn't understand a word of Turkish.
I don't step out of the house every day thinking I'm weird, different or over-dressed (except if I am, in fact, over-dressed on purpose). I just threw on something casual to have tea and cake on my merry own and people managed to make me feel uncomfortable. I hate when that happens, or better, I hate when it gets to me.
Oh well!

Deniz visited yesterday. It was a surprise to realize just how much I'd missed him. He says we were meant to meet, I say life is random and I could've easily worn a dress the night we met instead of the MGS4 t-shirt (he would've never talked to me if not for the t-shirt).
He gets upset that I don't believe in anything remotely spiritual.What can I do? I really don't. I'm happy about the random succession of events that led to us meeting, isn't that more fantastic and intriguing than believing everything in life is premeditated by invisible (read: imaginary) forces?

I haven't gone out much since returning from Poland. No joke, 90% of my wardrobe needed washing, I was literally stuck at home because I had nothing to wear. I never did so much laundry in my life (I love the smell of freshly washed and dried laundry, just love). A shame, as I missed a couple of really sunny days.
So today I took a break from working (I'm sharing the resulting illustrations with you soon!) to have a couple of beers with this nice Portuguese guy, Jorge, at a really quiet place with nice vintage-y decoration (faux-rococo sofas, big fireplace, gold chandeliers, delicious).
Istanbul is drastically different from the cities I visited in Poland. The pace and the volume is different. Everything is extremely fast and loud. In Poland I actually relaxed and strolled around slowly, enjoying each step, which is saying a lot; I hate walking on my own, specially in places I'm not familiar with. Poles are also generally very respectful and don't stare or talk to you unless you talk to them, and it's unthinkable that someone would start chatting you up in the middle of the street. Crossing Istiklal Avenue again was surreal; so many people, so much noise! Everyone wants to ask something, sell something, harass you, convince you to enter their shop/bar/restaurant.

Oh but there's nothing this city can throw at me that will make me stop loving her.

I crave a crazy night out, actually, I haven't partied in ages. I have a mind to check out the gay clubs of Istiklal, if I find good company. The house is half-empty right now. Some people are in Iran (!) and most are in Bulgaria. There's a holiday right now in Turkey, no school, no housemates, no Deniz, I've decided to go visit my aunt and cousins tomorrow and stay over for a few days. I always enjoy spending time with my family, and it's been a looong time since I've seen them (I hopt they're not offended, I really do lose track of time. I'm a terrible relative!).

Ah, I'm working on changing the layout of the journal, too. I'm not entirely satisfied with it yet, but I hope I'll get there. I've also re-edited this old picture:



Better, no? Oh I miss Esdrúbal, my faithful lobster!
You know what I miss as well? H&M. I never realized how badly I love that store. It's been in my life forever, my mom shopped there for me when I was a toddler. I spent a good part of my time in Warsaw window-shopping (well, I did buy a gorgeous fascinator) at H&M because there's no H&M in Turkey. I predict a HUGE shopping spree as soon as I return to Portugal.

Less than a month to see my sister and my boyfriend! HAPPY!

Home is where the heart is.

Adoro-vos e estou cheia de saudades ("saudades são securas", diria a Mãe Gatinha!).
Um bocadinho de amor no meu blog para o Gatinho e a Lucrécia, que eu não seria quem sou hoje (não seria nada, aliás), se não fosse esta mulher fantástica e esta prenda que me deu em 1989, uma irmãzinha só para mim!
<3<3<3

(I know all I do lately are little fragmented posts, I've been busy! I promise a big big post soon!)

I realized I don't have a choice, actually.
I will be perfect. It's on!

I have two choices here.
I either stop being such a perfectionist or I start being perfect.

It's been 64 years since the liberation of Auschwitz, and the walls of the only remaining crematoria still smell faintly but unmistakeably of burnt flesh and hair.
Now you know and I wish I didn't.

In Poland there's actual Autumn. Ice cold, gold light, leaves on the floor shining like jewels, just the way I remember it from my childhood in Switzerland.
There's also a very soothing silence (compared to Istanbul, Warsaw is mute), people walk so slowly and talk so softly that you can hear Winter coming.
Oh I miss it already! I definitely want to go back, with Suzy, Tiago and Luís (Interail, anyone?).

Tommy Tallarico, weeee! He's so nice!
I'm not HUEG, btw. I'm taller than him and we're standing on opposite sides of a counter, mkay?

Phew! Very tired, smelly and confused. Can't believe I just spent 5 days all alone in Poland.
I think I'll sleep tomorrow most of the day and then indulge on delicious girly things. You know, do my nails, eat chocolate, think about Kurt Russel. Oh wait, that's a manly thing to do. Damn.

I need a makeover and a shopping spree, too. Run run run credit card!

Poland has been amazing, and VGL was out of this world AWESOME.
But:
I will never ever ever EVER NEVER spend more than a week away from my boyfriend.
NEVER.
EVER.
Missing him this much is nothing short of torture. Nothing in life is complete without him.

BRB, ISTANBUL: VIDEO GAMES LIVE @ WARSAW!

I have to leave the house in 3 hours and I'm freaking out. First time I organize a trip completely on my own, it's scary!
What the hell, I'm actually going to Poland completely on my own just for Video Games Live. Omgomgomgomgomg.
Cya on the 23rd!

Showing off my new favorite lipstick by M.A.C., Girl About Town:



Uh?

I love how Doe Deere is constantly ZOMG I MAKE UNAPOLOGETICALLY BRIGHT MAKEUP on her blog, as if no other brand makes bright makeup. The way she talks about M.A.C., making it sound like a very conservative, evil and soulless corporation is incredibly amusing as well.
Girl About Town is super bright pink with excellent coverage, smells delicious, doesn't dry, lasts at least 12 hours and wasn't made by a scene queen-wannabe in her basement. And the tube, sleek and black, doesn't look like you bought it from the kid section at Claire's.

Now you know.
And knowing is half the battle.

From what seems like ages ago:




A very expensive Red Bull event with a fancy German DJ everyone knew but me. The club was definitely the most beautiful club I've ever been too.
All in all, an extremely boring party.

Boring party + excellent company = Leyla and Deniz run off from party to go home and play MGS1.



Holy cow, I really really really shouldn't allow people to take pictures of me when I'm laughing. It's SCARY.

Also, I DARE YOU TO CAPTION THE NEXT PICTURE (IT'S JUST ASKING FOR IT!):



Best caption gets a silly gift from me! True story!

Bad Romance

Spent last night re-editing this picture. Some of you have seen it already, it was shot during my first year of art school. My Photoshop skills have improved ever since, so I wanted to remake it. I'm become increasingly fascinated with Photoshop. I need to learn more!

Shooting tomorrow with one of my favorite photographers, Hakan. I wont' lie, I'm a bit nervous, I never imagined I would get the chance to meet him, let alone work with him. Happy happy!

Gonna cook for Deniz and Jorge now.
Life is back to good!

P.S.: There's a lovely LJ'er, I'm not naming names, that sends me a PM every time I make a locked post. To that LJ'er: you're amazing, I love you. <3

I'm completely alone in this city.
I miss my boyfriend, sister, mother and dog. I even miss my father (!) and that horrible evil fluffy thing Suzy calls a pet bunny.
I'm so not amused right now.

It seems the worse I feel the better I dress.

Or something.
No time for big updates, lots of homework.

But, something that brightened my day:
Today I sent 139807498794 postcards all around the world! Expect a lot of silliness in your mailbox real soon!
And expect more, because on the way home I found the most adorable gifts for a few of you, and I'm sending them tomorrow!
Writing postcards, making little doodles, looking around the vintage shops for prints and gifts is so much fun!

Oh, also, my address, because some people asked for it:

Galipdede Cad. Sahkulu Sok. No:13
34440

Beyoglu / ISTANBUL

Yesterday I finally got my student Akbil done (public transportation pass thingy). It's nearly been two months, I mean!
It frustrates me that I don't see Istanbul that much, we've locked ourselves up between home, school and Istiklal Avenue, it's ridiculous!
But now I have an Akbil so Istanbul is my oyster!

I'm trying to be more, well, like my sister. Have a routine, be responsible, not postpone everything. I need to take care of myself here, no one else to do it for me! I want to go to bed every day before 23h00 so I can comfortably wake up at 07h00. Last night I went to bed at 20h00 though, which is why I'm awake now. Argh! I'll finish this post and go back to bed.

I need to have my Learning Agreement done and signed before going to Poland, too. 6 days!

Oh, and, yes:

( Yesterday's outfit )

Oh well. What a random little post. I really need to make a BIG update with TONS of pictures. No time! No time!

I'm ooooold!!!

This picture makes me SO HAPPY.
How cute is Old Snake?? Sephiroth is pretty cute as a Sackboy, too, but Old Snake, omg, lookathim, I just want to put him in my pocket!
Do they make plushies of this? If so, I need one!
Leave things in the comments that will make me happy! It can be a picture, or the name of a song I need to check, or a video, anything! I need me some happy, fast!

I'm not a party girl.
I've skipped two parties this week and everyone freaked out. One by one they came to my room asking me if I was okay, if something had happened, if I was on the brink of suicide.
I simply felt like staying home and work. It amuses me how worried they got.

When I went to university and realized I could be part of that world, I guess I got drunk on that feeling. But it never felt right, or like myself. I thought it was something I should do, since I'd missed out on so much for so long. You know, having friends, going out every night, getting drunk, being popular, being pretty, etc. Realizing I could be pretty was so weird.

Well it was fun while it lasted, but I'm done feeling like a fraud. Two weeks ago Deniz and I left a fancy party at a fancy club with a fancy German DJ, a party, mind you, we paid a lot for.
We left and went home to play MGS1.

That's me, and I'm done trying to change. I need to reconnect with the Leyla that stays home on a Saturday night to read.
She was a good girl.

Parties and nights out, at some point, once you've seen a few, you've seen them all.

 

I was feeling bored and fat and ugly and useless and a bunch of other pretty feelings, so I put the MGS4 soundtrack blasting while I was getting dressed for this birthday dinner I am now half an hour late for.
I think I'll wear this to Video Games Live, y/n?
I feel awesome now, of course.

Today I decided not to have a lazy Sunday (as I usually do) and do something productive.
Click the preview or the link underneath to see the full picture. I had to crop out the nudity so Photobucket and Livejournal wouldn't freak out (won't somebody please think of the children!).



I Need Some Sleep

I'm rather happy with it, even if the lighting was a tad too strong and my camera is crap. I think I'll try to take a portrait every other day, to pratice photography and editing.

Not so long ago, I was a happy Sunflower Leebra (part sunflower, part lion, part zebra), jumping around with Bunny Davy, hitting each other with pans, destroying Metal Gears and doing funny dances.
I really miss sitting around your apartment eating gumdrops. That place was a mess, but I loved it.
Back then I'd look at the unopened box of Metal Gear Solid 4 and think it was probably a very boring game, remember?
I miss you, come visit. *shuinf*

I don't think I'll be posting in daily_outfit anymore. When people aren't asking for pictures of my real hair they're asking for my shoe size. What does it matter what my God-given hair looks like if I haven't worn it that way for 9 years? And the shoe size thing, I can't even imagine why a stranger needs to know that.

So here's the outfit from Friday:





I adore my new shoes, even though they hurt like a bitch because they haven't been broken into yet.

Today was weird.
And that's all.

After a long day of school and walking half of Istiklal, a break at Starbucks for warm cappuccino and a muffin.
What better way to end the week?

When I found the second-hand shop from the previous post I thought I had died and gone to Heaven.
There are therefor no words to describe what I felt when I entered the shop I visited today.
I bring you even more pictures of beautiful Istanbul vintage finds!

But first, a random picture of my extremely messy desk:



Leyla's life = art + books + makeup + MGS. Pretty much, at this point.

Today, having had no classes, I called Jojo and Javier to find out where they were. They gave me instructions to meet them in front of a second-hand store called, well, Retro.



( It's been two months and I still take tourist pictures )

I've passed by the store entrance many many times of course, and had noticed it. How can you not? There's always a guy standing at the door, dressed like a sultan, yelling "RETRO! RETRO!" at everyone. Somehow I never went inside, most probably because of the guy standing at the door, dressed like a sultan, yelling "RETRO! RETRO!" at everyone.
Anyway, I want to move there. Seriously. Someone give me a little place in a sofa there and I'm so out of this house!



( A LOT of beautiful pictures )

Isn't it absolutely wonderful? I intend to go back many many times. One of the shop keepers is Spanish, he moved to Istanbul three years ago and learned perfect Turkish in just seven months! I really need to study Turkish, hard. Living with fellow Erasmus students is great and all, but not very good to learn the language of the motherland. Argh!

At this shop I found a wonderful military jumpsuit thing, exactly like the one EVA wears, and I tried it just for fun even though it looked way too small, and damnit, the thing not only fit, it looked hot. I really really want to buy it, but it's too expensive for something I will only use, uh, in the bedroom.

After spending an hour drooling at gorgeous things that were way out of our budget, we went to have dinner for 4 TL!



Delicious cheap food! I approve!

Not satisfied, we went to another vintage shop, way smaller and cheaper, where Javier found me a leopard print top for only 0,50 TL. That's right, 25 cents in €! Crazy!
On the way home we stopped at yet another second-hand store, the one in our street, where I found the most amazing pair of shoes. I just had to take them home!

I'll end this post with pictures of what I wore today, which actually went beautifully well with my new shoes.

( Black and pink )

Phew, such a big entry! I think I'll take a little break from LJ and the Internet, it's getting harder and harder to find the time to post, and this weekend is packed full of birthday parties and homework!

Going to Poland for Video Games Live in 11 days! Holy cow!!

One of my housemates recently went to Ankara to visit his girlfriend, and when I asked him about the city, he told me "Ankara has no soul".
Compared to Istanbul, I don't think any city has a soul. Returning to Lisbon will be so weird. It's a charming little city, but like Davy used to say "Lisbon is a cheap prostitute trying to pass itself as a fancy courtesan".
Istanbul is a fancy courtesan. I'm utterly and hopelessly in love with this city.
Specially, I must say, with the neighborhood where I live in. Istiklal Avenue owns my heart forever.

I have 10298374980 beautiful pictures of the city. All I've done lately is post outfit or party pictures, because it's faster and easier, but in the next entries I want to show you Istanbul.
For now, I leave my vintage-loving friends with pictures from an amazing second-hand shop right down my street. I couldn't believe my eyes when I entered it!





( Vintage Love )

This store will be the ruin of my bank account.

 

I am extremely not allowed to go to Syria (some housemates just returned from there, I'm so jealous), but if I could go, I'd watch the sun set in the desert to this song.

I <3 Photoshop.

Next Halloween/Carnival (if I'm home in time):

- Ocelot (MGS3)?
- Beatrix (FFIX)?
- Sniper Wolf (MGS1)?
- Some other gay man or fierce bitch with big boobs and a big weapon?

Oh zat's okay, I've already decided. Thiz iz never going to vork, that voman is vay too hot, but feel free to blame mastergode

Today was a beautiful day. Bright and sunny, and deliciously cold and free of rain. I went to school, had lots of tea and worked for hours.









A take on Artemisia Gentileschi's Judith Slaying Holofernes
I call it Judith Loses Her Sh*t, but censored it so Photobucket and LiveJournal won't freak out or something.

This morning I was extremely late for school and had no time to set up my tripod and take a picture of my outfit, so later I asked Inês to take one.
I usually don't like pictures of me taken my other people, but oh well!



Poofy skirts are looove.

14 pictures from Halloween night, inadvertently spent at a gay club, each of them more epic and Big Boss'ed than the other!





( MGS Leyla: What Do You Mean 678 Russian Soldiers Are Missing? )

I did not expect to have so much Halloween fun in Istanbul. People were extremely well dressed and creative, even if the gay boys were unbelievably pretentious and rude.

And as reward for going through all those pictures:



Big Boss with boobs. WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW? AH!

When I posted the Big Boss outfit in communities written in English, I got nice feedback, some advice, and lots of compliments.
When I posted the Big Boss outfit in communities written in Portuguese, I got "you don't have blues eyes or a mustache, lol" comments.

I'm surprised I wasn't told to shoot my right eye or eat snakes. You know, for authenticity's sake.

I haven't had long brown hair since I was 14!

Dear diary,
I will never get out of this outfit.

Why?



Because.

I intend to spend tomorrow gorging on vodka and yelling "I AM YOUR DADDY" to, well, everyone, really.
How are you spending Halloween and, most importantly, what are you dressing as?

*EDIT*

I knew this was going to happen! I just knew it! The minute I uploaded the picture, two things happened: the Internet crashed for the rest of the night, and I realized I PLACED THE EYEPATCH OVER THE WRONG 
FUCKING EYE.
How the hell did I manage to do my makeup, take the picture, edit it, and NOT NOTICE I PLACED THE EYEPATCH OVER 
THE WRONG FUCKING EYE?!
I'm leaving it here because it's still a pretty cool picture (how can you not look cool with an eyepatch, right), but DAMNIT.
I'm going to get ready, like, two hours before the party so I have time to take pictures with the damn thing OVER THE RIGHT EYE.

Contrary to popular belief, Otacon Boy exists.
(someone please hurry with the genetic manipulation thing, that hair should actually be mine)

It's that time of the year again!
You know, the time of the year I blow my credit on a flight to Poland just to see Video Games Live.

This is what a retarded happy geek looks like!

For  a man who has a Wikipedia page and is buddies with Hideo Kojima, Tommy Tallarico is unbelievably nice. I mean, he personally replied to three emails from a girl who clearly should not be allowed to have a credit card.

Lack of updates is due to the fact that Otacon Boy and I downloaded MGS1. I haven't had classes for days because the country is celebrating their fake democracy the Turkish Republic.

Life is incredibly good, fake democracy, police brutality and all.
Halloween tomorrow! Weeee!

 

The weather is gray and sad, period is killing me, classes were specially boring and I saw a picture of myself from the Erasmus party that made me decide never to drink again. Seriously. I may look cute within two hours of leaving the house, but I always end the night looking terryfing. I rather be pretty than drunk, frankly.
Only good thing about today was email from Tommy Tallarico. Still can't believe that!
Have tons of stuff to upload, but will nap a bit first.

So I've been planning a little crazy thing.
Last year I went to see Video Games Live in Lisbon and it was EPIC. This year I'm obviously not in Lisbon, and the VGL team doesn't seem to think there are enough geeks in Istanbul for them to come here (guys, there totally are!). Was that going to stop me from crying over my favorite video game themes played live by an orchestra? 
NO!
I didn't want to write about it before actually buying the tickets, but it's pretty much happening (unless my credit card decides not to work  all of a sudden or the tickets sell out between now and this afternoon), but I'm flying to Poland for Video Games Live (do I take my Geek of the Month medal now, or will you mail it to me?).
Inês is coming with me as well, her best friend is studying there on Erasmus. We'll stay in Poland around 4 days.

Now, I emailed the VGL info address thing to know if there's any chance of the show being canceled, and I thought I'd get a reply from some kid who has ot handle the email box or something.
PEOPLE, I GOT A REPLY FROM TOMMY TALLARICO HIMSELF.
For those of you who don't know, he's an awesome composer and one of the hosts of VGL. He's AMAZING on stage and plays a mean guitar.
I'm SO doing the meet and great after the show this time, not matter how big the line is!

Anyone from Poland, by the way?

Argh.
Posting from Starbucks.
I wanted to check my email for your addresses, but accidentally cleaned my mailbox! WHAT THE HELL.
So:
Everyone who sent me their addresses to receive postcards and cute stuff, please send again! I'm so sorry!
fingers_in_my_soup@hotmail.com

(I wrote the postcards and bought little gifts, like, a week ago, too. I'm such a lousy pen pal!)

Last Saturday I went to the Erasmus Welcome Party Rave, held at the Sirkeci Train Station, one of the many stops of the legendary Orient Express.
Erasmus students from all over Turkey met at Istanbul! It was amazing.



(picture from Google, because I couldn't take any good one, being that I was drunk and my camera isn't very good for night pictures. But mostly because I was drunk)

Isn't it beautiful? I love it. It's just across the Galata bridge! Getting ready, drunk in the kitchen and across the bridge was an adventure in itself, really. We always have half the fun before arriving to the party.

 

On the way there (Istanbul is sooo beautiful at night) and inside the station (pretty lights! My one weakness!).



( Big hair, new friends and too much vodka )

Now for yesterday!
I've written here about Otacon Boy. I met him on my first week here, because of my MGS4 t-shirt, and ever since I've been literally stalking the boy and trying to see him again, forgetting he's way younger than me and not on Erasmus, hence not as free as I am to do whatever he wants, obviously.
Yesterday we had arranged to meet and I waited an hour for him. I was furious. I kept thinking "I'm too old to be stood up by a high school kid!". It wasn't his fault, of course. He completely forgot, he was so embarrassed he rushed to my house even though I was being complicated and telling him not to.
I'm glad he came over! It was really really nice. Everyone in the house liked him and could not believe he was a high school student (they kept asking him what university he went to). We drank beers in the terrace, then around midnight I cooked for us and a Portuguese guy I had met at the party the night before. We stayed up most of the night watching MGS4 cutscenes and then fell asleep like babies.



(while the text advises strongly against smoking, the video shows just how cool smoking makes you look)

Fact: It's impossible to watch MGS4 cutscenes and not feel the urge to smoke. Impossible. I usually only smoke when I'm drunk at a party, but, in my defense, I was drunk in my room, so it's all good.

It's also impossible to watch MGS4 cutscenes without missing my boyfriend terribly, but that's probably just me. *sob*

Either there's a big football match today or what I'm hearing from my room is a big big protest.
Definitely sounds more like a protest though.
 

Best. Party. Ever.

I LOVE YOU ISTANBUL.

Why yes, I am still pretty much drunk.

Oh damnit.
I've tried to shake it off, for many reasons.
I'm too tall.
I'm too old.
I'm too tall!
I'm not cute.
I'm too tall damnit!
I'm living in a muslim country, too.

But the feeling has been here for weeks. It directs my eyes when I'm shopping or looking for inspiration.

I want to dress lolita.

*sigh*
I'm ridiculous!
 

 

Last venue of the Biennal. Again, incredibly disappointing,  but I loved this purple wall and specially the title!
Also, I've made an important decision: NO MORE PANTS. I spent most of my fat teenage years wishing I could fit into skinny jeans, and now I do again, and they look great on me, but it doesn't feel like myself. It's SO boring. All I want for myself now are big frilly skirts and the occasional bloomer. I also have to keep in mind that leggings ARE NOT PANTS, no matter how comfy they are.

Why do I care so much about these things? I think fashion is the ultimate form of expression and I aspire to look good and fitting for every occasion. Add to that that I'm a Virgo and we're paranoid little perfectionists...oh well! I have no problem admitting: I'm one very vain girl!

I feel my style is evolving and I love it. I'm constantly looking for inspiration and it's yet another thing where I can feel Istanbul changing me. <3

Tomorrow is the ZOMG SUPER HIPER MEGA AWESOME Erasmus Welcome Party. Erasmus students from all over Turkey are coming to Istanbul, about 2000 people are expected! What to wear, what to wear!

I'd like to know, how important is fashion for you? Do you plan your outfits or just throw on whatever? Surely I can't be the only one blowing significant amounts of money on clothing I don't really need!

 Yesterday was crap, the whole of it. I didn't leave the house, hell, I didn't leave the bed. My head hurt real bad, my limbs felt boneless and I was burning up. Of course every minute someone didn't come to check on me I grew more and more angry and depressed (I'm ashamed to admit it. If I were in my normal state, I would've just laughed at how I am always right about people). I had a little fight with Otacon Boy online, which was a very 16-years-old thing of me to do. Sometimes I don't know who's older out of the two us, honestly.

Anyway, things that cheered me up:

- Got an email from the Erasmus coordinator of my school back home, and turns out I am entitled to a scholarship! I had totally given up on that, because I was in third place and it wasn't a sure thing. Whoo hoo, lotsa money coming my way! *happy happy dance*

- Found a picture online from some party I went to, and, hey, it's a good one:



With Ilhan, the first person I met here (he picked me up at the airport!). He's like my big brother. <3

- One of my oldest friends (we met when I was just 13!) is visiting me soon! There were times when I was young when I didn't appreciate him as much as I should. I know now he's the best friend I have, completely selfless, and 100% reliable. Ack, I even feel like I don't deserve him! This wonderful wonderful guy read here that I lust after Portable Ops and is bringing it with him, too! How nice is that? I can't wait to show him Istanbul!

- And last, but certainly not least, my boyfriend sent me a bunch of links and said "Pick your favorite, even though, if I know you well, you're going to pick Naked Snake. It doesn't matter really, you're going to get them all (Old Snake and The Boss, too!)"!!!!



F*** YEAAAHHH!!!! LIFE IS GOOD WHEN YOU HAVE A 7 INCH NAKED SNAKE!

In the gardens of the Topkapi palace, wearing my fake hair out for the first time.

I have tons of pictures of this beautiful city to go through and edit, as well as pictures of the EuroAsia marathon I went to last Sunday (I still don't know what devil posessed me to wake up at 6AM to go walk 8km from Europe to Asia. This is not somehting the normal Leyla would ever do!), but I think I have a cold again. Argh. Another thing I dislike about living with other people: there's always someone still ill, so you can't really ever be completely cured from a cold.

I've been feeling very bleh since yesterday, I don't know why. I need my mommy? And a good soup. *sob sob*

Yesterday's outfit. Casual for school and a little shopping spree. I think I'll do my hair like this every day. Right now it's that annoying length that is neither short or long, and that's usually when I get sick of it and cut it. I'm trying to avoid that, because Tiago and I have a deal that we will get married when my hair reaches my waist. *giggle*
I know, I know. Leggings are not pants. I never said they were! But they're incredibly comfy!

I wore pretty much the same to go out that night, just added the wig because I didn't feel like washing, drying and styling my hair all over again:


Raki is the answer.
I don't remember the question!
(There's a t-shirt like that, I NEED IT)

Today I woke up with someone knocking on my door, Sara. Somewhere under all the raki my brain remembered that we had agreed to go to our neighborhood's turkish bath Saturday morning to cure the hangover. I never thought she'd remember! I quickly put on last night's outfit, tied my hair up and hid my hungover face with gigantic Matthew Williamson sunglasses.
The morning air was cold and the sky was blue. Even though I'm not much of a morning person, I love mornings: the city is also hungover (not waking up because this city never really sleeps), everything smells fresh and new.
On the way to the hamam (turkish bath) we stopped at this little food place next to the Galata Tower for 1 lira breakfast, a delicious little cheese bread thing.

At the hamam we managed to bargain the price but only after 19h00 did it actually open for women. Our hangover had to be fixed another way: we bought natural fruit juice (they squeeze the fruit right in front of you, it's all juice, no added water. The pomegranate one is my favorite, SO delicious and SO good for my aching head and complaining stomach).

Sara returned to her house to practice guitar, I did some research for school until I decided I needed a nap. The sunlight was coming through the window, I put the FFIX Piano Collection playing really low and napped for two hours, it was absolutely delicious.

We returned to the hamam around 19h00, with a bunch of other Erasmus girls, and left past 22h00! It was so good. The place is small but extremely clean, and not touristic at all, hidden in a dangerously steep backstreet. We were a bit nervous because only men work there, but they scrubbed and massaged us as professionally as can be. They were really nice, too. I think the guy scrubbed 2kg of black pollution goo out of me, seriously. My skin has never been smoother! Next time I'll take my camera and take pictures, the place is so traditionally and authentically Turkish!

Hamam followed by a big delicious dinner, the smell of rain and soap, the taste of spices, a big chocolate Sundae at McDonald's...I love this city.

Also, during dinner, I chocked on my dürüm when the living image of Solid Snake walked past us, from head to toe in leather biker gear, knee pads and all, kick ass boots, an ass shapped by God Himself, and did I mention SNAKE'S FREAKING FACE? Jesus Christ the man even rocked a mullet.
Where is he now? I must find him! We must have children together! The future of the human race depends on it! Probably!